Posts Tagged gay

People Who Say ‘Lover’

Feb 27

Posted by Cumberbun in People I Come Across, What Are People Thinking?! | No Comments

So some people are married, some people date, some people are engaged, some people are booty calls or late night tips. Whatever it is that you are to that person, great! I’m happy for you. I don’t judge or care. Do what you want to do. But one thing that is completely obnoxious & disgusting to 99.9999% of society…. is when someone refers to their significant other as their “Lover”! It is the most repulsive, ridiculous and cornball term that has ever been invented. It sends chills up my spine and I’m not gonna lie, it makes me want to set you on fire. Honestly, I don’t even understand why people say it in the first place. Do you think it makes you sound more romantic? or maybe that you are more in love than people who are normal and don’t say that? Whatever it is, you need to stop. It is not cute!!! People don’t envy your love life or want to be like you. People are grossed out, sick to their stomach, probably don’t hang out with you as much because of it and may even end their friendship with you or disown you as a family member. You sound so stupid, that you should be embarassed for yourself!!!

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You’re NOT the Easter Bunny, You’re A Grown Man

Dec 11

Posted by Walkerton in Cousin Love, My Life, People I Come Across | No Comments

I’ve been really busy since going back to my normal life after the Cousin Love Extravaganza 2009 but I still have a bunch of stories about the idiots I encountered during my vacation. There was one guy that we were subjected to for about 30 minutes against our will. It took one look at each other to know that this guy had to be immediately added to our prayer list. Now I have nothing against fruitcakes because a lot of them our on my besties list but this one guy had too much sugar in his tank even for me. He was with his little girl and his wife as I assume their wedding rings were a representation of their marriage and not marriages to other people (his to another guy). This guy was hopping around like the frickin’ Easter Bunny or as if he were auditioning to be one of the Disney characters for the following year singing “It’s a Small World After All” in a voice that was more girlie than Shirley Temple’s.  I know everyone is excited when their in the presence of Mickey’s homeland but Dear God get a grip you she acting man.

He didn’t just sing it once or twice but for the full 30 minutes it took us to get through the line and onto the ride. This guy made me cringe and at the time the only thing I could imagine doing was lodging my cousin’s chocolate-covered banana down his throat to shut his ass up!! If he continues playing the woman‘s role in his marriage, his daughter is going to be very confused by the time she reaches 8-9 years of age. He’s better off just coming out of the closet already.  If I were his wife I would be way to embarrassed to be seen in public with him…even in a place like Disney World!!!!!

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Stop Bothering Me At the Bar

Sep 29

Posted by Walkerton in My Life, People I Come Across | 6 Comments

Why is it that every time I go to the bar to meet one of my friends or boyfriend there, I can’t sit there for more than 5 minutes without a guy hitting on me. I’m not exactly sure why, but it annoys the hell out of me! Why can’t I simply order and enjoy my drink while I’m waiting without being bothered will some lame pick-up line that the guy probably ran through his head 3 or 4 times before saying it out loud to me. The lines aren’t even creative…they’re the same stupid ones that guys used back when we 14 years old and it was more of a joke than anything. I didn’t know guys truly used them in hopes of grabbing a woman’s attention.

If I want to talk to you, I will. Please don’t come at me with your lame ass lines and expect me to start drooling all over you. I’m not going to fall in love with you right then and there. It is never going to happen!! This is why woman like going to the gay bars…because they don’t want to be hassled by all of the straight ones. If you want to grab my attention, just chill out, be cool and don’t be overwhelming where I want to duct-tape your mouth shut. It still won’t go anywhere do to the fact that I have a boyfriend, but making a new friend might be a possibility. . . Might!

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Gangsta Gay Guy?…Not So Much

Aug 11

Posted by Walkerton in People I Come Across | No Comments

So I have a wide variety of people that come into my bar, but one guy the other night simply stood out. To help paint a picture he was a white guy that clearly likes what most would call the “gangsta” look. He had his white T with some sort of graffiti design in gold, slightly saggy jeans, gold chain, hat tilted off to one side and as sweet as pie may I add. Him along with 4 of his friends were sitting at the bar bullshitting with each other about a variety of things while watching the Bills vs. Titans pre-season football game.

Me constantly ease-dropping on people’s conversations heard them talking about TBL. For anyone who doesn’t know, TBL is a gay club here in Fort Myers. Curious why these obviously straight guys would be talking about this place, I asked “What are you guys talking about?” Come to find out, homeboy with the gold chain decided one night that he wanted to go out and have a good time. Flying solo and not knowing what TBL was, he roles in like he owns the place to quickly realize he is the only heterosexual guy in there. Evidently he missed the jumbo sized rainbow flag that they proudly hang. I know those gay men could have only had 2 thoughts on their minds. Either what the hell is he doing in here or that they were gonna get their hands on this gangsta gay guy and rock his world. If he would have taken one step further, they would have eaten him alive making him the guest star in that night’s drag show! I would have paid to see that too :)

….that poor soul!!!

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