Wednesday is the day that Tammy and Mikey always come up to my work to have some cocktails. They stayed later than usual and were still there when I got off. Not seeing Tammy in a couple of weeks I decided to stay and have a drink to socialize for a little bit before going home and cooking dinner. I think it was Tammy that suggested getting a pizza delivered to the bar and I of course was unable to turn down my favorite food. After eating the first piece I was already filling up since the slices are on steroids when Tammy presented me with what you could call a “dare.” If I could eat 2 pieces at once she would get me a shot. How could I turn that down? Barely accomplishing the task at hand we all got a shot followed by another drink. Now I had wanted to go home but was having fun with my friends.

We continued to drink but kept it at a steady pace because I wasn’t looking to get drunk by any means. We were laughing, taking pictures and having a good time when Tammy called Ryan and all of the sudden he was there to pick her up. Mikey and I continued to stay there only to start talking to these 2 guys that were sitting next to us. We got talking and eventually ended up playing mega touch. Sitting there minding my business, Chris crawls up on the bar and is in my face trying to make his move. Confused by his actions I demanded he get down even though he was just goofing off….so I thought.

Now we are allowed to drink while we work as long as we can still do our job. DO OUR JOB being the key words of my previous statement. One of the regulars had bought Chris, himself and me a shot. Chris seemed to be functioning fine and I wasn’t really sure how much he had been drinking prior to that shot. It wasn’t until he bent down to reach one of the liquor bottles in the bottom of the freezer, tipped over and was unable to get up without a little assistance. I questioned him but he said he was fine. With MIkey stepping out for a moment I continued drinking my beer and went back to playing my mega touch. 3 games in some of the people at the bar were asking me to make their drinks. When I asked why they simply said that Chris wasn’t after being asked repeatedly. Now realizing he was drunk I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. I was a little tipsy and wasn’t working but also didn’t want to compromise the guests and have them unhappy.

I contemplated whether I should help out but quickly decided it was the only option at the time that made sense to me. Deciding to go behind the bar and make drinks for everyone that was asking for them, the only task I gave Chris was to ring them in. Watching him closely and making sure he was doing it right I realized he could barely stand on his own 2 feet. I was trying to help him do his closing duties and was in the kitchen soaking the bar mats. All of the sudden he comes back there and rips his shirt off. Trying to figure out what the hell is going through his head, I brush past him trying to escape his insaneness. He followed me out to the bar and started swinging his shirt around his head. As everyone seemed to be cheering and laughing uncontrollably he still would not leave me alone. Following me around, hugging on me and trying a little more than that, I was able to break free and tried to put his shirt back on him. It was like trying to dress a child who didn’t understand the concept of putting their arms through the holes.

Trying to get everyone cashed out and out the door was almost impossible as well. Chris was entertaining and apparently didn’t want to listen to me when I told him to get everyone out. I gave everyone 1 minute to leave as I pushed them out the door to lock up. My friend Mikey stayed behind because I was driving him but another guy stayed back as well. Considering it was Chris’s shift and responsibility to get rid of people including me, I let the guy stay just praying for this night to end. The guy started wiping down the tables and bar top as I ran the checkout and tried getting the drawer straightened out. Turning Chris down for the hundredth time he finally walked in the back where I thought that he was using the bathroom. All of the sudden I see him out front sitting on one of the tables. As I walked outside to let him back in his girlfriend was walking up making the situation that much more uncomfortable. Trying to avoid that drama I finished the drawer, asked if he needed help with anything else but instead was interrupted by the girlfriend with, “We are fine. We got it from here!” No trying to step on any toes I left.

The next day I got a call asking what exactly happened the night before. After doing a quick run-down of the entire night I found out that Chris left one of the front doors unlocked, never set the alarm and shut off one of the breakers to the computers. It’s sad to say that Chris no longer works with us but hopefully he is doing well.

Tags: bars, drunk, work

Bo, you have officially lost your mind! You were a hot mess last night but I do have to say that I’m glad no markings on the knees. I still owe you a sucker-punch to your ball sack to make up for you throwing that dirty ass bug juice invested rag at me. I’m going to get you when you least expect it so watch your back Dumbo ears.

As for your comment on Facebook, ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm….I’m thinking that you’re not too accurate on the statement you made. How could that be true when you dry hump my right leg without permission? It’s one thing if you asked but you didn’t. Maybe you can spend this week gaining some composure and thinking about your actions and then we will see how much you’ve improved by next Thursday.

Tags: bars, drunk, work