Archive for category Facts

Scary, Drunk Lady

Jan 26

Posted by Walkerton in Facts, My Life, work | No Comments

I have this 50+ year old lady that comes into my bar looking for the quickest way to get drunk before her shift. She is a mess. She has her bouffant all ratted up and intact as a result of her using half a can of Aqua Net a day, her frosted lipstick and make-up goop in the corner of her eyes. She could be mistaken for a trashier version of Cruella Deville. I throw up in my mouth a little bit every time I see her. You can tell she’s been a server her whole life and never had any ambition to do anything else. I’ve never seen this woman sober and doubt that she ever has been. She’s old and wrinkled and reeks of a wet ashtray/nursing home.

The worst part about her is that she’s famous for dropping that line, “Oh I’ll take care of you sweetie.” That is a bartender’s nightmare because you know that means that you’re not getting shit for a tip from them. It’s even funnier to me because they truly think they are hooking you up and it’s not even 10%. If you think that’s good then you are obviously doing something wrong because that sucks a donkey’s crooked ball sack!! I’m going to allow my Habeeb cousin to bitch slap this woman with his D if they ever cross paths!!

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My Cousin’s BAD Mouth

Jan 25

Posted by Walkerton in Cousin Love, Facts | 6 Comments

My cousin has turned into this psychotic, enraged potty-mouth lunatic over the past month and and a half. I haven’t been able to have one single conversation with her where she was dropping the F-bomb at least 3 times in every sentence. And it’s not like she is casually using the F word….she has been using phrases like, “SHUT YO’ MOTHA’ F’ING MOUTH BIOTCH!” and “YEAH MOTHA’ FUCKA’!” It’s as if she becomes fluent in Ebonics and forgets how to talk like a normal, educated and civilized human being. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m no angel either with my mouth but mine tends to get better over the years where as hers seems to be having a reverse effect.  I’ve tried counseling her through this to see where the source of this horrible language is coming from but there doesn’t seem to be one. It’s just the gangsta side coming out from within the depths of her soul. Maybe this is her true side and we are all going to have to learn to accept her…. bad mouth and all.

Cousin….I think I found your perfect match!! I can only imagine the great conversations the 2 of you could have! LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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MI Weather

Jan 11

Posted by Cumberbun in Facts | No Comments

Michigan weather starting in November through February, maybe even March or April, is enough to make somebody physically assault themselves and no joke, hibernate like a bear in the woods, until the madness is all over and done with. The frigid tempatures are so bitter cold that your bones ache, you get migraines from 70 mph winds bitch slapping you in the face, your car spins out and slides the second an inch of snow hits the ground, the ice storms & freezing rain showers cause you to spend a good half hour thawing out your car, as if it were a pot roast for tomorrows dinner and it gives you urges of sucker punching innocent people. After all this, you constantly feel as though your body has been stricken with rhuematoid arthritis, hypothermia, spina bifida, a severe sinus infection, pnemonia & bronchitis all rolled into one. Everybody is constantly sick….sneezing, coughing and blowing their noses. You fall on the ice, you slip in the snow, your finger tips freeze & then snap off, you lose feeling form your neck down to your toes and to top it all off, you are expected to function in this shit!!!! No matter how much you bundle up, it is still cold and if you bundle up to much you can’t bend your appendiges or see/hear your surroundings. I think you get the point, it is dreadful!!!! It makes you tired, bored, sick and you never want to leave your home!!!! This bear ain’t moving until March bitchesss!!! Grizzly out!

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I HATE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS

Jan 6

Posted by Walkerton in Facts | 12 Comments

Boy am I confused.  I have been hammered with the propaganda that it is the Iraq war and the war on terror that is bankrupting us at $125 Billion A Year…Guess I was wrong!!
ATTENTION KEN AND ALAN………………….These ARE FACTS!!! This is the point I was trying to make to you both a couple of weeks ago and why I’m so irritated with foreigners coming into this country illegally!!!!! When I wish bad things upon them, this is why!!

1. $11 Billion to $22 billion is spent on welfare to illegal aliens each year.
 (http://tinyurl.com/zob77        

2. $22 Billion dollars a year is spent on food assistance programs such as food stamps, WIC, and free school lunches for illegal aliens.
(http://www.cis.org/articles/2004/fiscalexec.html)

3. $2.5 Billion dollars a year is spent on Medicaid for illegal aliens. (http://www.cis.org/articles/2004/fiscalexec.html)

4.  $12 Billion dollars a y ear is spent on primary and secondary school education for children here illegally and they cannot speak a word of English!

(http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0604/01/ldt.0.html )

5. $17 Billion dollars a year is spent for education for the American-born children of illegal aliens, known as anchor babies.
(http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0604/01/ldt.01.html )       

6. $3 Millio n Dollars a DAY is spent to incarcerate illegal aliens.
( http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0604/01/ldt.01.html)

7. 30% percent of all Federal Prison inmates are illegal aliens.
(http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0604/01/ldt.01.html)

8. $90 Billion Dollars a year is spent on illegal aliens for Welfare & social services by the American taxpayers.
(http://premium.cnn.com/TRANSCIPTS/0610/29/ldt.01.html)

9. $200 Billion Dollars a year in suppressed American wages are caused by the illegal aliens.
(http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0604/01/ldt.01.html)

10. The illegal aliens in the United States have a crime rate that’s two and a half times that of white non-illegal aliens.  In particular, their children, are going to make a huge additional crime problem in the  US.
(http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0606/12/ldt.01.html)

11.During the year of 2005 there were 4 to 10 MILLION illegal aliens that crossed our Southern Border also, as many as 19,500 illegal aliens from Terrorist Countries.  Millions of pounds of drugs, cocaine, meth, heroin and marijuana, crossed into the U. S from the Southern border.
(http://tinyurl.com/t9sht)

12. The National Policy Institute, ‘estimated that the total cost of mass deportation would be between $206 and $230 billion or an average cost of between $41 and $46 billion annually over a five year period.
(http://www.nationalpolicyinstitute.org/pdf/deportation.pdf)

13. In 2006 illegal aliens sent home $45 BILLION in remittances back to their countries of origin.
(http://www.rense.com/general75/nihthtm)

14. The Dark Side of Illegal Immigration: Nearly One Million Sex Crimes Committed by Illegal Immigrants In The United States.
(http://www.drdskcom/articleshtml)
    

The total cost is a whopping $ 338.3 BILLION DOLLARS A YEAR.  Are we THAT stupid? This shit pisses me off so bad because they should be shot for trying to come here illegally. We don’t want you here! You do nothing to better our country! You are a burden on the taxpayers and I pray to God that laws that support EXTREMELY harsh punishments for these illegal aliens are passed immediately!!!!!!