Archive for category On the Web

Affairs On Blast

I’ve never liked watching Tyra Banks talk show but I’m glued to the TV right now. Today’s episode is based on the famous affair website ashleymadison.com. It allows people to be honest about themselves letting people know they are married and may even have kids but are looking to have an affair. The website actually guarantees that you will have an affair or you get your money back. What the hell is wrong with people?! If you’re not happy in your marriage, GET OUT OF IT!!  Why must you drag your loved ones through something so hurtful? You can’t have your cake and eat it too.

It is so sad to see the significant others of these cheaters crying and heartbroken after being told about what their loved ones have been doing. Some of them had an idea that something was going on while others had no clue. If you do nothing else in your relationship, be honest. Communicate with the one you supposedly love because it’s only fair. The one lady ended up getting a divorce after her husband found out that she was a part of this website. She went on to sleep with 150 guys within a 6 month period. Holy whore bag… how is your back wall doing because I know mine would be beat up and sore as hell.  I hope this woman is doing her kegals on a daily basis because I’m not sure how her vagina is tight enough for all those man rods to actually feel good inside of her?! There’s nothing wrong with getting’ yours, but DAMN BITCH… save some men for the rest of us!

I had to post some of the ashleymadison ads because it’s crazy at how common cheating is nowadays and how affairs have become a million dollar industry.

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Bad Jeans, Gross Man Rod

What the hell possesses people to wear the things they wear?! I really wish that I was available 24/7 in all parts of the world to keep people like this from walking out of their front door and causing innocent people to be exposed to this insanity. This should be illegal. He looks as if everything is just fine and dandy. Ummmmm, hello? You’re shriveled little boy penis is repulsive and those jeans must be burned immediately and I suggest with you in them. You are a gross man and I actually threw up in my mouth when I saw this. He should be classified at a sex offender and banned from society. This is unacceptable and if I were a cop, he would without a doubt be getting a ticket for indecent exposure and for being a complete reject. After seeing this, I have now joined a therapy group twice a week to talk out my constant nightmares about this man and his chunky, curvy 3 inch man rod. Blauhhhh (that’s me throwing up)

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It’s Miracle Grow

 Now I come across of a lot of funny things and I insist on sharing with other.! Thank God for the times that men just don’t know when to keep their damn mouths shut!!!!!

One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife “Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast.  Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!!” 
 
His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn’t let such a comment go unrewarded. 
 
The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer.  “What the Hell is this??” he said to himself as a little “dust” cloud appeared when he shook them out. 
 
“April,” he hollered into the bathroom, “Why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?” 
 
She replied with a snicker… 
 
“It’s not talcum powder…… 
 
It’s ‘Miracle Grow’.”

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The World In 7 Photos


Only in China 



Only in Hawaii


Only in India


Only in Mexico




Only in
Texas





Only In
Thailand


And last, but not least

Only In America


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My New Fave Video

 

Is the concept that difficult for them?!

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Livestock & Harvest & Crops! Oh My!

Seriously…. if I get one more Farmville, Zoo World, Fish Land, Meerkat Town, KillYourselfImmediately City request on Facebook… I am going to roundhouse kick the first person I see, right square in the face. If I didn’t accept your first 45 requests to join, what makes you think that 2 months later I am dying to have my own farm and have completely changed my mind about this agriculturally hip lifestyle? First off, all of my friends are over the age of 11, so I am dumbfounded as to how they find this “Facebook application” soooooo damn fun & cool, let alone want to play it at all! Sadly, I have a few friends who have been sucked into this madness and honestly, I think they have no clue how to get out. It is like a drug to them! Black tar heroin or crystal meth! They talk about it as if, they gave birth to these dumb ass hogs and cows that roam “their land”, they have to use of half their lunch break to harvest their crops & rotate their soil and worst of all, they turn into Ace Ventura- Farm Detectives and spy on each other’s farms to see who is doing better, so that they can earn more points and outdo that person as soon as possible. I truly think it’s time we stage an intervention for these poor, little country bumpkins. I am calling A&E tomorrow morning and asking if Candy Finnigan can please take a few hours out of her day to help me, before my friends are gone for good. This is a sick & twisted addiction and at least, for the sake of these peoples friends and family members, make it stop! I can’t hear one more story about someone’s herd of livestock, crops or harvest. If I wanted a farm I would buy myself a pair of overalls, trade my car in for a tractor, start dipping in some Copenhagen and crop dust all over town!!! LOL!

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Gay Man Just Misses the Cut To Be In Lady Gaga Video

I truly wish I had this much free time in my life. The best part about this is his short shorts for all gay men to enjoy because I don’t think his dance moves will do him any justice for inside the bedroom. Mikey…this is for you because you are a YouTube fanatic as well as a fan of this song!! And parents wonder what their kids are doing away at college all on their own?!

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Beauty Pageant Bimbos

carrie prejeanI can’t stand the dumb girls who get involved in beauty pageants. They are the fakest, whiniest and most uptight annoying bitches. No one cares how many trophies you have or any other prizes you may have won. You are a fake, made-up Barbie doll wannabe that has very little that is actually real. When you want to get rid of your hair extensions, fake lashes, spray on tans, clip-in teeth, fake nails and 20 layers of make-up then we can see who could actually win these dumbass contests.

Try using your brain to go somewhere in life because those looks are only going to get you so far. I almost feel bad for you because apparently you all have really low self-esteems if you need to put on all these layers to feel good about yourselves. If you’re as dumb as Carrie Prejean then I pray for you. She couldn’t even answer simple questions such as, If you could have lunch with any 1 person, who would it be and why? What is your career ambition? Name one personal achievement that makes you especially proud, What is your most treasured possession and why? and What is the most interesting or surprising thing about you or that has happened to you? without the help of someone else. How can you not answer questions about yourself by yourself you dumbass bimbo!?! I can’t stand stupidity and if I ever encountered this moraine I might have to stab myself in the ears to keep from hearing all of her duhhhh comments!!

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I Love Shots…Lalala

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sJaWF67_Qyg

Anyone who hangs outs with me knows that this has been my favorite song for about 2 months if not longer because I’m constantly singing it and busting out the lyrics in mid-sentence! This video kicks ass!!

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Talk About Ironic

condoms_toysUmmmm, true story?

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Annoying Americans

I’m not going to lie; I’m so sick and tired of places being closed on every single holiday. Nothing is open and I don’t understand why. It seems as time progresses, more and more people continue to bitch about not having off certain holidays and also use the religion card non-stop. Sure it’s great to remember these things that happened in the past and the people that make up our history, but to have schools, banks, government buildings and other places shut down is stupid! Every year I feel there is another holiday printed on the calendar that seems more ridiculous than the last.

Get over it people; who cares if you have to work on these dumb holiday’s. This whole freedom thing is getting out of control here in America and someone needs to put their foot down! People need to stop bitching when they feel they’re not being treated fairly and crying racism as their reason….life isn’t always fair and I’m sick of your whining. I’m also sick of hearing that you can’t do something because it’s against your religion….BULLSHIT! People are always playing the card to their favor and I’m sick of it! Just shut up already because I’m on the verge of traveling across America and bitch-slapping each one of you individually; especially you foreigners who are here illegally. I want to physically harm you people and I wish bad things on all of you!!

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You’re Not My Friend

facebookI honestly don’t understand why people I never liked in high school are requesting me as a friend on Facebook. What are you thinking? If I didn’t like you then, what the hell makes you think I like you now? I DON’T!! There is one person that recently requested me and I think that they are a horrible human being. They were nothing but negative, mean, nasty and hateful to people then and I’m willing to bet my life that they are no better now. She was always creating drama and irritated the shit out of me!

Get a clue…you suck at life and I will not allow you to be any part of mine!! You are not worthy of my Facebook page! For anyone who hasn’t figured it out, this person obviously got ‘ignored!’

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Drunken Twister

I was reminiscing looking through old pictures and came across this video. It’s not that funny to anyone who wasn’t there that night but it reminds me of so many great times I had with some of my best friends. Drunken Twister was something that we loved to play after a long night out at the bar or club or even a girls night in. Trying to play when your coordination is already questionable is a blast and makes the game that much more interesting.

I need to get back to these amazing times with unforgettable friends! This video cannot capture the endless laughs and the memories that will be forever cherished. Great friends are hard to come by so enjoy them every moment you can!!

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Single Ladies

Yes, this is old and I’m sure you’ve seen it but I can’t get enough of it. It’s still as funny now as it was when it first came out. Beyonce better watch out because she has some competition with this guy!  I am having a hard time though figuring out if he tucked it back or it’s hidden under his chub?! Either way I feel that people need to see this in order for their life to be complete! I just hope that he doesn’t think that he’s got it going on with his ball sack and fat bulging out of his leotard.